Meeting new people and growing your circle of friends is a big part of university life. The social aspect of living away from home for the first time enriches any student experience – but what if you’re an introvert?
A simplified way of looking at it is, if an extrovert is the social butterfly commanding the dance floor at a party, then an introvert is someone on the fringes sipping their drink or someone that has already gone home. If you’re an introvert reading this, then you’ll know it’s not that simple: of course you like to have fun, it’s just that being around people for stretches of time can sap your energy and even downright exhaust you.
There’s a common view that all introverts are shy and quiet; it’s often the case but not always so clear-cut. Many performers and comedians who are clearly full of confidence when they’re on stage are known introverts, while some of history’s most radical minds are, too: Albert Einstein, Sir Isaac Newton and Steve Jobs. Good company to be among, eh?
If you’re worried about making friends as an introvert at university, or you're already at uni and finding it difficult, we’re here to tell you you’ve got this. Here’s our guide to starting university as an introvert and how to make friends at uni.
Freshers’ week is an exciting time, symbolising the beginning of your university adventure. The anticipation surrounding it might be causing you some anxiety and to ask yourself a number of questions like is uni fun, what if you don’t fit in or what if you don’t make any friends?
Get involved, sure, but take things at your own pace and try not to put too much pressure on yourself. It is only one week, after all. There may be big nights out and group gatherings, but there’ll be other activities to get involved in if that’s not your thing – and you might be surprised how many ways there are to meet people at uni, and how many other people opt for something more chilled over a bar crawl. A lot of new students think that the only way of making friends at uni is to drink or party – but that’s certainly not the case. Making friends at uni can be done in countless ways.
Remember, everyone is starting out and will be feeling some level of nervousness, even if extroverts might not show it. It sounds obvious but smiling, saying hello and engaging in conversation (even if you’re uncomfortable or a bit embarrassed to put yourself out there at first) is a great way to start making friends as an introvert at university. Who knows? You might be helping someone who could be struggling more than you.
Once freshers’ week has whizzed by, the reality of university life sinks in. Yes, there’s still a lot of fun to be had but the everyday business of lectures, studying and independent living also begins. You might be asking yourself how do introverts make friends in student accommodation?
The freedom of living away from home is great, but it takes time to adjust and you may be feeling overwhelmed at being away from family and friends. Homesickness at uni isn’t fun but give yourself time, stay busy and it will pass. Whether you’re living in university halls or off-campus, a lot of your new neighbours will be experiencing the same feelings so try to open up as sharing the load will make you feel better and help you connect with others.
You might find it tempting to stay in your room if the idea of socialising with strangers is just too much. Try not to isolate yourself, as you’ll only end up feeling worse. You don’t have to go ‘out out’ to find new friends, there are a number of ways of making friends at uni. You might be lucky to live somewhere with social spaces where you can mix with other residents, like our Student Roost properties across the UK that feature everything from cinema rooms and hosting kitchens to outdoor areas and gyms – so you can start up a conversation based on specific interests.
If you’re wondering how to make new friends at uni, then keeping an eye out for someone who has similar interests is certainly a good start: football, a specific genre of music or film, or complimenting someone on their style can all be great conversation starters. At Student Roost properties, there are even regular social calendar events that you can pick and choose to attend, allowing you to connect with people with similar outlooks - so, try not to worry about having no friends at uni, there will be so many opportunities to connect with people.
If sharing a bathroom is just non-negotiable, skip university halls for student accommodation where you’ll have your own en-suite, like at any of our Roosts. And if sharing a kitchen doesn’t feel like a good fit, you may feel more comfortable in a self-contained studio with your own kitchenette and more space than a bedroom – for example, at Merchant Studios in Glasgow and The Depot in Bath. This way, you still have the option of all the great facilities and social spaces just downstairs but you can escape when you need to and get to finding friends as an introvert on your own terms.
Thinking of how to meet new people at university? It doesn’t have to be limited to people you’re living with. The course you’re studying is a great way of making friends at uni, because you all have an interest in the subject you’re learning.
Unsurprisingly, the world of higher education doesn’t offer exclusive university courses for introverts (although research shows that some subjects like accounting and creative writing are more suited to the personality type) so you’ll be studying with a mix of different people, including extroverts.
Try to get in the habit of participating in lectures and seminars, as it can become easy for louder voices to take over and to get a bit lost in the background. Group work is a great way to build bonds and suggesting a quick post-study snack or drink could be the key to blossoming new friendships. It’s worth repeating that your classmates are in the same boat – trying to figure out how to make friends at uni – so asking how someone is can go a long way. If you buddy up with people on your course, then remember you can live together in our Roosts when it comes to booking your accommodation for second year and beyond.
Hopefully, you feel equipped to take on this new, exciting challenge – because, no matter how overwhelming it can feel at times, uni offers some of the most fun years of your life and you deserve to have the best student experience. Here are some more top tips for introvert students on how to make friends at uni:
If you’re still wondering “how do you make friends at university?”, the answer isn’t cut and dry. There are so many ways to meet new people, that we’re sure you’ll find companions to take with you on your higher education journey – just take your time! And if you need any support, drop in at reception or check out our wellbeing hub.
You may find all or some of these tips on how to make friends at uni useful, or may prefer another approach that suits you just fine. Whatever works or doesn’t work for you, just remember that if you do need to talk then our teams are there 24/7 if you need support whatever time of day (or night) at all of our Student Roost properties. Don’t stay silent if you’re combatting loneliness or if it all starts feeling a bit too much – we’re here to help and make your time at university as special as it should be.