Sure, uni means meeting like-minded people, enjoying a rich social life and even making friends you’ll be close to 30 years from now. But it’s also worth acknowledging head-on that there are times where you may feel lonely at university.
Loneliness is something we all experience at one time or another, and it’s perfectly natural. It can feel difficult to deal with though, especially if it’s your first time being away from home and the family and friends you know and love. Rest assured – there are plenty of ways you can make new friends, lift your mood and feel better.
What to do when you're feeling lonely at uni
Developing ways to manage and cope with loneliness will mean you’re prepared for those times when you do feel lonely. Here are some top tips on how to combat loneliness as a student:
1. Start with hello
If you’re finding it hard to adjust and make friends, remember that many other people will be feeling the same way as you and will appreciate you reaching out (even if it feels scary!) as much as you’d appreciate it back. So, say hi to people before and after lectures, meet peers after class to plan group work (or just go for a coffee), and spend time in shared living spaces with flatmates doing everyday activities like preparing a meal or watching TV. Hopefully, you’ll begin to build a rapport but if it takes longer for you, take your time and try not to worry – check out our guide for introverts at uni for some more tips.
2. Connect online
Find it easier to forge connections in a virtual space before meeting face to face? Forums and online communities (like gaming) are a good way to reach out to future friends virtually, but beware of spending too much time scrolling social media as FOMO may make you feel more isolated.
3. Join a society
Uni is a great opportunity to meet like-minded people. Joining a society formed around one of your biggest passions (whether that’s musical theatre or real-life Quidditch) is a great way to cope with loneliness at university. And trust us, there really is something for everyone! Sheffield University has 300 societies for students to choose from, plus more than 50 sports clubs. Nottingham Uni has more than 300 societies and 70 sports clubs, and Bristol has almost 400 societies and clubs.
So head to your Students’ Union to find out what’s on and which societies you could join.
4. Give volunteering a go
Giving back to others is a sure-fire way to feel more connected to your community and less lonely at university. You’ll meet new people and get involved in something that makes a real difference – whether that’s running activities for young people, helping out in your local charity shop, or working on a community arts project.
Your Students’ Union is a great place to go to learn more about volunteering opportunities for students. Some national charities also have volunteering opportunities specifically for students – such as the Royal Voluntary Service which matches volunteers to hospitals and other health services across the UK.
5. Make the most of your accommodation
Depending on where you live, you might find there’s plenty of opportunity to meet people literally on your doorstep (or even closer). At Student Roost, the combination of our generous social spaces and bustling events calendars mean you should always have options on the horizon. Head over to the recreation room (or the disco kitchen if you live at Great Patrick Street in Belfast).
6. Look for the positives
It’s important to recognise that being alone and feeling lonely aren’t always the same thing. You might revel in being alone and enjoy your own company, which is great. If you’re not quite that comfortable spending an evening alone with a good book or Netflix show, then try to look for the good in the situation. Shifting your perspective slightly might make you rest a little easier; just because you’re lonely this evening or this week doesn’t mean you’ll be lonely tomorrow or a week from now. And just because you spend one Saturday in your room, it doesn’t mean that will be every Saturday forevermore. Use it as a chance to catch up on some studying or try to enjoy the simple comforts of a duvet day.
7. Find a new hobby
Fill your time by learning a new skill or doing something you enjoy - it might just make you forget you ever felt lonely in the first place. It might be something that lends itself to meeting new people, like picking up an instrument or baking goodies for your flatmates and neighbours. Or it might be more private and just for you: journalling, coding, even zoning out with Lego. If it’s something you enjoy and that brings you a sense of calm, then keep it up.
8. Reconnect with the familiar
If you’re feeling homesick, a phone call or Zoom quiz with your nearest and dearest might be just what you need to break a particular spell of loneliness. Words of encouragement from those who know you best can be a great tonic. Reaching out to your loved ones may have the knock-on effect of making you miss home even more, though, so try to balance reconnecting with your family or friends with positive affirmations and goals; for example, if you speak to a family member today, aim to chat to one other person at uni or in your accommodation tomorrow. Think of a time when you were lonely before, and then all the times you weren’t after it – it helps to frame your current situation, knowing that this period of loneliness at university will also pass.
9. Speak up
If you feel like nothing is working and you’re struggling to cope with your feelings of loneliness, then don’t stay silent. It may surprise you to know just how common student loneliness is, but if you’re finding it difficult to open up to fellow students then reach out for support at university or in your accommodation. Remember that you can call the Samaritans for free, day or night, on 116 123 or you can text 'SHOUT' to 85258 for a free, confidential and anonymous text support service.
At Student Roost, our friendly teams are available 24/7 so you can start a conversation AM to PM, and we’ll be able to signpost you to relevant, tailored support. We also make a good brew, if a chat over a cuppa is what you need in the moment. We really do want you to feel at home with us, which means knowing we’re there when you need to talk.
Look out for info on upcoming events in your Roost, offering the perfect opportunity to start conversations. Remember, we're always here for a chat! In the meantime, take a look at our wellbeing hub for further resources and support.
